ST

I've been having suicidal ideations lately.  So bad to the point where I've low-key considered options and plans. Refilling my pills and taking them all at once.  Walking in front of a truck or speeding car during one of my walks. Crashing my car off a bridge or something.   Various other ideas....

I can't talk to anyone about my bullshit.  I went to the doctor on Friday.  I didn’t tell him how bad I've been,  but I had him increase the dosage of my antidepressant as well as put in a referral for a therapist for me.  

Things have just been too much. I feel unloved,  unlovable,  unwanted,  unneeded, unnessesary.

I don't think I'm in danger of going through with anything right now, but it's gotten pretty close a few times here the past few months.   


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